Never mind the fact that it costs 5 bucks to make yourself using parts from Home Depot. Never mind the fact that looks like a large, clumsy crow bar. And never mind the fact that it’s like, 30 pounds of fake steel. You need The Survivaler’s Infinity Tool. Why is it named The Infinity Tool? I’m glad you didn’t ask! Simply put, the tool does an infinite number of things. And it’s not made by Chinese children. It’s made by Mexican children, who are North American, which is closer to the US than China. No ethics issues here, carry on.

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